Figuratively and literally, we are on the road again. I finally got my period and have started this journey of our fresh IVF. I'm on the BCP's and I'm scheduled for stims in 2 weeks. Its odd that I feel the natural progression of this process going, but suddenly I have these moments when I realize the 'finite-ness' of it all, and it makes me nervous. I guess 'talking' about it is just talking, there's not embryo numbers to count or day 3 results or a pregnancy test to face, its just talking. Talking still leaves room for hope. So much is riding on this cycle that its almost too much to comprehend what will happen if it doesn't work. This is the end of the ART road for us. We will either add another passenger and change direction, or have to seek some alternate path. I keep getting asked if I'm excited that things are rolling, and I can't say that I am. I'm just scared. This is where I have to put to rest my nerves and rely on my faith.
On an unrelated note we are heading out on a 10 hr drive to visit friends this weekend. I'm welcoming the distraction and time with my family. Its nice to not have idle time to think too much about all of this.
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