Next stop, FET

Today is CD14. I had my third and final u/s and bloodwork this morning. So far things have been going smoothly. My body has gone successfully from menopause to puberty in 2 weeks (and I feel it!!). My lining is 8.9, which is good. My estrogen level was right on target last week, and I anticipate it will be today. I have been doing my twice/ weekly estrogen shots and I'm getting a little sloppy with those. My DH gave me my last one, so it went a little better (the ones I gave myself were starting to hurt - my technique or aim was bad). Tomorrow I get to start the daily PIO shots - hopefully I can get some help with those so I don't ruin my back side! I've had a positive attitude and I think that's been helpful. I have made a point to stick to one particular nurse at the RE's office, who is the nicest, happiest, sunshiniest nurse I've seen in a long time. She doesn't seem to mind that I ask ridiculous ("what if...") questions every time I go in. So if for some reason this doesn't work, I can at least say this experience was much, much better!

So Monday is the day. Hard to believe that I could be pregnant Monday, just like that. So, here we go... next stop - transfer!

Serenity

Timing is everything. I do believe that there are no coincidences in life and that there is Divine intervention apparent in so many things. My DH and I went off to spend the weekend with 4 other couples we have known a very long time and are very close to. I had not shared my recent "part 2" struggle with them. My intention was to disguise my struggle and have a mental vacation from all of this. There were obviously other plans at hand. We girls spent an afternoon at the Serenity Day Spa for treatments and at the peak of my relaxation and vulnerability, the subject came up. As predicted, the flood gates opened. As hard as I tried to hold everything back (I mean this was very much against the rules to put myself out there like this), they, being the God-sent conduit to my emotional freedom, encouraged me to unload my burden. It was in this dreaded state of emotional vulnerability and pain that I found surprising serenity. I certainly did not plan to reveal this to my friends, but in doing so I have realized the power of support. I have to believe that God wants me to feel supported and encouraged by this. Ironically at the spa, a candy wrapper of mine had an inspirational quote in it, "the blessing is in the journey". I am slowly seeing this to be true and I can only hope I come out on the other side (no matter what the outcome) a more blessed person.

So tomorrow is CD 1. I'm going in scared, optimistic, but serene. It is what it is, I am who I am, and what will be, will be.... but I will not be alone.