I Would Die For That

I'm on my last day of laying around.  I technically could get up and move about today, but my son is at day care, DH at work, and I have no other obligations.  I'm trying to convince those little embryos that this place is quiet and calm, a place they may want to stick around in, for say 8 more months!  It would seem that sitting around and doing nothing but cruising the internet and watching TV is any person's dream (especially one that works full time, goes to school and has a young child), but I'm actually getting bored.  So while I'm google searching everything fertility/ infertility (what else is there?!) I ran across the most amazing song.  Kellie Coffey's "I Would Die For That" Video .  A song about infertility.  A simply moving song, just in itself, but the video is so very powerful.  I watched it twice (so far) and tears have been pouring down my face.  It took me right back to the heartache of wanting a baby so badly and not knowing if that will ever happen.  I catch myself, almost always, and snap back to the happy place of holding my son.  It happened, I am a mom, I have a baby, I am so blessed.  But, a little piece of my heart is still there, wanting, waiting, painfully disappointed that I have found myself here, on this journey, again.

Its hard to decide what waiting is most difficult.  The waiting while your trying, the waiting until the RE says its time, the waiting until the transfer, or the waiting until the pregnancy test.  It may seem that waiting for the pregnancy test would be the easiest, but I've decided its probably the hardest.  At this point, there is an answer waiting for you.  An answer so defiinte that it WILL change your life (in a great way or not-so-great way).  Nothing left to do, nothing left to change, just plain waiting.