CD 39

Just an update, I'm still waiting (oh, my life story!) for AF arrive.  I'm now on CD 39 (yes, you read correctly, cycle day thirty nine).  I have never had a cycle this long (not even close), ever, with the exception of manipulating BCPs to skip a period.  I took a HPT yesterday, I've decided I would make Saturday my "test day" until AF decides to show up.  Of course it was negative (otherwise, this blog would have gotten a lot more exciting).  Surprisingly, I'm not anxious about all of this.  I'm not fighting the urge to test every waking moment.  I actually don't really think about possibly being pregnant at all.  I'm just waiting for this cycle to end so a new one can begin.  I guess I should probably call my RE if it hasn't started by next week, that would be a little too long for me.

On a different note, as I've said before I do not believe in coincidences and I feel that everything is meant to happen by Divine intervention.  I have not shared any of my infertility "stuff" with any of my coworkers, with the exception of one who just happens to know because of a mutual friend that I have shared all of this with.  I was working the other day and a coworker came into the isolated room that had just me and another nurse in it.  This coworker began to update the other nurse about her infertility plans.  I then shared my story with her and  found out she has arrangements with the same clinic and RE that I am now seeing to do IVF.  We discussed the financing and she shared with me how her and her DH figured out a way to finance it.  Basically, she is ready to do her IVF asap, which is a little sooner than me, so she will be able to help me figure out how to juggle my schedule and IVF and FMLA (also, I now know how we are going to pay for it).  It's as if she came into that room just to answer those lingering logistical questions for me. 

So, we are on track for a fresh IVF.  My reservations about pursuing this are fading.  I also have confidence now that if in the end we do not get pregnant again, I can live with that.  I need to believe that I will be okay if we go down this road again and end up back where we started.  Granted we'll have more debt (and actually we'll have debt no matter what the outcome) but I can be satisfied that we gave it all we had and I can put it to rest.