Serenity

Timing is everything. I do believe that there are no coincidences in life and that there is Divine intervention apparent in so many things. My DH and I went off to spend the weekend with 4 other couples we have known a very long time and are very close to. I had not shared my recent "part 2" struggle with them. My intention was to disguise my struggle and have a mental vacation from all of this. There were obviously other plans at hand. We girls spent an afternoon at the Serenity Day Spa for treatments and at the peak of my relaxation and vulnerability, the subject came up. As predicted, the flood gates opened. As hard as I tried to hold everything back (I mean this was very much against the rules to put myself out there like this), they, being the God-sent conduit to my emotional freedom, encouraged me to unload my burden. It was in this dreaded state of emotional vulnerability and pain that I found surprising serenity. I certainly did not plan to reveal this to my friends, but in doing so I have realized the power of support. I have to believe that God wants me to feel supported and encouraged by this. Ironically at the spa, a candy wrapper of mine had an inspirational quote in it, "the blessing is in the journey". I am slowly seeing this to be true and I can only hope I come out on the other side (no matter what the outcome) a more blessed person.

So tomorrow is CD 1. I'm going in scared, optimistic, but serene. It is what it is, I am who I am, and what will be, will be.... but I will not be alone.